Just when you though my mug couldn't get any uglier, it does. Stitches in the lip, I'm not even sure how many but more than one and less than fifty. I really wish I could tell you I got it fighting or something cool, I'd even take something stupid like licking the icing off the beater while it was still plugged in. Unfortunately, I just had some weird little "thing" chopped off. It was this spot on my lip that wouldn't go away and nobody really noticed it except for me whenever I looked in the mirror and it drove me crazy.
I went to the walk in clinic near my place and a doctor there froze it with liquid nitrogen, but that didn't do much so he suggest I go to his uncle's clinic in Martindale. I knew Martindale was on the East side somewhere, but I thought was a newer community. It's in the NE and it was like going to another country, there are a look of East Indian and Pakistanis that live around there. I was like the whitest dude in the neighborhood. I wasn't the only white guy, just the whitest. I saw this white trash guy driving around in a pick up with a sticker on the back window of Calvin peeing on the words "bin laden". That speaks for itself.
Anyway, I went on Monday and Dr. Reddy looked at it and said to make a surgical appointment for Thursday and he would cut it off. I get there on Thursday and he says he is the only doctor on staff and might not have the time to do it. Since I live on the opposite side of town he does it anyway. As you can see he did it, but I'm sure how well he did it. It has only been a day, so my lip is still a bit swollen and the inside has a huge bruise on it.
First I lie down on the table and he comes over with this syringe of anesthetic and the thing was huge! It's it only a small spot on my lip, what is with that monstrous needle?! After he stabbed into my lip, even though my lip was numb it felt swollen and huge, but it wasn't. It was weird and I was getting really nervous now. He covered my face with this paper just so there wouldn't be blood everywhere when he started slicing. I didn't get blood on my shirt, but I also could barely breath. He then stitched me up and sent me on my way. I got see the little piece of me that got cut off. It is going to get analyzed to see what the hell it was, if anything. It was only this small circular area and I didn't even think it would require stitches. I couldn't stand looking at a little spot on my lip, so I got it cut off for a bigger disfiguring scar? I hope the stitches come out and it heals okay.
Dr. Reddy tells me not to take any aspirin, but Tylenol instead for the pain. I was like "What pain?" Oh yeah, my lip is still numb that's why it doesn't hurt. Once the anesthetic wore off it didn't even hurt as long as I didn't open my mouth wide. Tonight we were watching The A-Team and I was trying not to laugh because when I smiled it hurt. He also said not to get the stitches wet for a couple days. They're on my lip and I can't get them wet? How am I supposed to shower, put a plastic bag over my head?
After it was all done and I had to drive back across town and it's approaching rush hour. There was an accident on Deerfoot Trail so traffic going south was like crawling. I was slowly going insane. I eventually made it back to my side of town and went by Co-op so I could pick up some straws.
I went to the walk in clinic near my place and a doctor there froze it with liquid nitrogen, but that didn't do much so he suggest I go to his uncle's clinic in Martindale. I knew Martindale was on the East side somewhere, but I thought was a newer community. It's in the NE and it was like going to another country, there are a look of East Indian and Pakistanis that live around there. I was like the whitest dude in the neighborhood. I wasn't the only white guy, just the whitest. I saw this white trash guy driving around in a pick up with a sticker on the back window of Calvin peeing on the words "bin laden". That speaks for itself.
Anyway, I went on Monday and Dr. Reddy looked at it and said to make a surgical appointment for Thursday and he would cut it off. I get there on Thursday and he says he is the only doctor on staff and might not have the time to do it. Since I live on the opposite side of town he does it anyway. As you can see he did it, but I'm sure how well he did it. It has only been a day, so my lip is still a bit swollen and the inside has a huge bruise on it.
First I lie down on the table and he comes over with this syringe of anesthetic and the thing was huge! It's it only a small spot on my lip, what is with that monstrous needle?! After he stabbed into my lip, even though my lip was numb it felt swollen and huge, but it wasn't. It was weird and I was getting really nervous now. He covered my face with this paper just so there wouldn't be blood everywhere when he started slicing. I didn't get blood on my shirt, but I also could barely breath. He then stitched me up and sent me on my way. I got see the little piece of me that got cut off. It is going to get analyzed to see what the hell it was, if anything. It was only this small circular area and I didn't even think it would require stitches. I couldn't stand looking at a little spot on my lip, so I got it cut off for a bigger disfiguring scar? I hope the stitches come out and it heals okay.
Dr. Reddy tells me not to take any aspirin, but Tylenol instead for the pain. I was like "What pain?" Oh yeah, my lip is still numb that's why it doesn't hurt. Once the anesthetic wore off it didn't even hurt as long as I didn't open my mouth wide. Tonight we were watching The A-Team and I was trying not to laugh because when I smiled it hurt. He also said not to get the stitches wet for a couple days. They're on my lip and I can't get them wet? How am I supposed to shower, put a plastic bag over my head?
After it was all done and I had to drive back across town and it's approaching rush hour. There was an accident on Deerfoot Trail so traffic going south was like crawling. I was slowly going insane. I eventually made it back to my side of town and went by Co-op so I could pick up some straws.
Today at work like everyone was like "Did you get into a fight?!" After awhile it got annoying, so I replied "No, but I'm about to!" You get some stitches in your lip and everyone assumes you were in fight, why is that? Maybe I'm just dumb and ran into a wall or was licking the knife after cutting a chocolate cake. Use your imagination people!
I was also annoyed because last month I dished out $55 + tax for A-Team season one and then found season five used for $25. Then I was at HMV and they have all the season sets priced at $16.99 each. Damn. It. I got season four and we watched the two hour season premiere tonight. It was pretty good and funny(ow, my lip!) plus it had some pretty crazy stunts you would never see on television now. It's all CG stuff now, I like seeing real things get blowed up, smashed and shot.
After getting my lip operating on and finding I overpaid for some DVDs is it possible for my day to get any worse?
NO! I found this dirty old loonie laying in the street. Looks like my luck is starting to turn around. I wonder how many straws I can with it at the dollar store?
4 comments:
wow, that is an epic tale, you were busy.
do you think maybe they are going to use the cut off bit to clone and make an army of keefs? maybe you should ask the doctor that when you go back.
As long as I get a clone it's cool. I can sleep in, watch DVDs and play video games while my clone goes to work me and does all the stuff I don't want to do...which is a lot.
how are you going to keep track of highscores? KD1, KD2?
how are those straws working out?
I would be "originalkeef" of course.
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