The Movie Out Here

When it came out that Kokanee were making a movie and had a contest around it, it was guaranteed to suck.  Or was it?  Even though I don't even drink I still had to see the movie because I'm Canadian, from the Kootenays and watch bad movies all the time.  There are a couple different ways to watch it, first watch in the theatre when it was released or buy a case of Kokanee and get a free DVD.  I already said I don't drink, so I'm not buying a case of Kokanee, but I knew if I was patient enough the movie would turn up at the thrift store.  Turns out I didn't have to wait long because last week I picked up the DVD which was still sealed at the thrift store for $3.   Cody and I watched it Saturday night because we are losers with no friends, here are my thoughts.

I had very low expectations for the movie, so I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be not too bad.  There wasn't much story, and what was there was pretty cliché, but at least it had some funny scenes.  How can a movie with THREE separate scenes of dudes getting hit in the balls not be funny?   There is a lot of swearing, sexual content , toilet humour and nudity, you know the good stuff.  I read a review from some critic that called the movie an "abomination" and while it's not exactly high art, it is entertaining and worth the $3 I paid for it.  Besides I've seen much worse!

Even though Kokanee is brewed in Creston, BC the movie takes place in Fernie.  It must've been cheaper to shoot there or Kokanee realized no one wants to see Creston.

Don't be fooled by the poster, there is no snow in the movie at all, well except for Snow.

The best scene in the movie!

Fresh & Glacier.  They are standing in the wrong places, it should be Glacier & Fresh.

On the plane to Fernie, BC because as you know Fernie has an international airport.

See it's Fernie!  The sign even says so, although I don't ever remember seeing that particular sign.

Finally an ass that doesn't belong to a fat guy.

The hottest chick in Fernie.

Cody thinks we went to school with these guys.  But we didn't go to school in Fernie!

This is the road from Fernie to Cranbrook.  It must be a back road.

And this is the Cranbrook liquor store.  Things sure have changed since last time I was back home in Cranbrook...last month.

Snack time.

After the A we finally get some T.

Marty McSorely, the famous gynaecologist.

The End.

When they do a remake/reboot of the movie they should do it all 80's comedy style.  The Sasquatch is stealing Kokanee  from campers in the park and it's up to the Ranger and Glacier Girls to try and stop him.  Like Yogi Bear, but beer instead of pinic baskets.  A evil corporation has plans to take over the park and shut down the Kokanee brewery, so the Ranger and Sasquatch team up to put a stop to them.  Lots of hijinks, pranks set to montages.  They can still keep the T&A and nut shots though.

Kamloops makes good nachos

Last time I was back in Cranbrook I found a bag of nachos in the cupboard and starting eating them to find out they were pretty good.  It was a weird company, so I checked out the back of the bag to find out they were made by a company in Kamloops.

There are three different colour/flavours of nachos in the bag, the regular flour nacho, a red one made with chili powder and a green one made with jalapeño powder.  I'm not sure where my mom bought hers, but probably at Safeway because that's the only place she shops at.  I saw mine at Co-op a couple days ago and grabbed a bag.  Unfortunately, I paired them with a plain old jar of Co-op brand salsa that doesn't do the nachos justice.

Hola amigos, don't forget to visit freshisbest.ca.

Here is their address, so Mike can go ask for some free samples.  Also, see if they have any merch (t-shirts!) with that sunglasses and sombero wearing chili pepper mascot.  That dude's got attitude!

After checking out the website it looks like they don't sell them anywhere near Cranbrook.  The closest place would be in Grand Forks.  Maybe my brother bought them because he was there working on an apartment building a while ago.  Too bad for him I ate the whole bag!

Resolution fail

Remember how back at New Year's I made a resolution to do two things; watch all of Arnold's early action films and to try and make more videos with Cody.  I can say without a doubt that I have completely failed at both of those.  I haven't even watched a single Arnold movie with the exception of Predator 3D and so far we've only made two videos.  The videos weren't that good, so I'm counting them as only one video.

I myself have a few ideas for videos that just never got around to getting made and I'm sure Cody has lot of ideas too.  I've probably came up with ideas for videos and then totally forgot about them.  Here are the titles of some of my as of yet unrealized ideas that I can actually remember.

• Dollar Store Avengers
• Gun Safety
• Vader?  Darth Vader??
• Star Wars mashup
• Dork Souls II
• Push the Button
• Predator III

Damn, I thought I had more than that.  The "Push the Button" video is the old one that Willie and I tried to shoot, but then screwed up while filming.  You know the one, I think that it deserves another chance.  I'm not saying it'll be great, quite the opposite actually, but I just want to try it again.  Back to Gyro Park!

I don't know if all of these will ever get made, I don't even know if any of them will get made, but I hope so.  I'll let you in on a little secret, two of the videos feature someone getting hit in the balls.  Excited yet?

GIMME GIMME I WANT IT!!!!!!

I was out cruisin' last week and stopped in at this collectibles place I spotted to have a look around.   Since I went out my way to stop there I ended up buying a couple small things and when I was paying I spotted a box sitting on top of a glass display case.  A box that I must possess...

Guns are cool.

It didn't have price on it, so I asked the old lady working there about it.

Me: I'm scared to know how much that costs.
Old Lady: One hundred and fifty dollars.
Me: Gulp.
Me: But can I take of picture of it for free?
I pulled out my phone a took the picture.
Old Lady: Is that for your collection?
Me: It's so I can show my friends.
Me: If I find $150 on the street somewhere I'm coming straight here to buy that.
Old Lady: If you $150 on the street then let me know where you found it.
Me: Deal.

The best thing about that A-Team gun is that it's just a "gun", but many guns.   It has lots of attachments, so you can assemble it to best meet your needs.  Plus, it's got two types of ammo; darts and grenades.  The A-Team is so awesome their guns can shoot bullets or grenades.

It is almost one meter long!

No batteries required!

I totally want this gun, but I don't want to pay $150 for it because if I did I'd want to take it out the box and play around with it.  I checked eBay, but didn't see any for sale, but I did see a copy of the instructions for only $5.99, but unfortunately the shipping cost is $20.90.  Don't worry I just downloaded the picture of the instructions!

I love it when a gun comes together.

All you can eat spaghetti!!!

My mom and my sister are in Rome!  So far all I got is this picture.

Hmm, something is not quite right here...

Where is his face?!

Somebody call an ambulance because she just got burned!!

Ancient remains

At work right now they are renovating the entire store and the produce department got relocated to the middle of the store.  This meant that they also relocated their back warehouse area, prep area, and stock cooler.  After produce moved they started tearing down the old produce cooler to make room for a large dairy cooler.  While taking it down they found an old ghetto blaster that someone must've put on the roof of the cooler and then completely forgot about.

At the least the construction guys were nice enough to leaving it sitting out, so the rightful owner could claim it.  Since he hasn't worked at the store in like five or six years I decided I would take it home with me.

I thought it would just need a little cleaning up and it would be good as new.  Just a wipe with a rag and it would be good to go.  Upon closer inspection I decided it was a lost cause.

The amount of industrial cleaners, power washing, and sanitizers(!) required to clean up this boom box would surely render it unworkable.

I am still a bit curious if it would work as it is.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2014

3409 3815152/001

I actually went and watched a movie today...in the theatre even!  It's been forever since I've been to go see a movie, I think the last one I saw was G.I. Joe: Retaliation with Cody, Willie and Cheryl at the Columbia Theatre.  Yes, it's been that long.

It's not that there hasn't been movies I've wanted to go see, I just never went and saw any.  Hopefully, I will go see a few more as there are lots coming out soon that I want to see like Muppets Most Wanted, Captain America: The Winter Solider, The Raid 2, Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Godzilla, Guardians of the Galaxy, Expendables 3 and yes, maybe even Transformers 4.  If I do see all those movies I should start saving my money up now.

Cody and I saw the Lego Movie today and it cost me $15.99 for the 3D version at a matinee.  On top of that I bought nachos and a drink for $10.00 bringing the total up to $25.99.  I could've just waited and bought the 3D blu-ray for that same price when it comes out.  At least I got another pair of 3D glasses out of it.  They want you to recycle the glasses in the box provided as you leave the theatre, but if I'm paying $16 to see the movie then I'm keeping the damn glasses.

As for the movie itself, it was good, I liked it.  It gets my seal of approval and now that I've said that you can all run out and watch it.

After the movie we stopped by McDonald's so we could get shamrock shakes because Cody has never had one before.  Say whaaat??!  Since it's almost St. Patrick's Day and they are available for a wee time only, the clock was ticking.  Upon tasting the shamrock shake Cody said it tastes like being kissed by a thousand Leprechauns.  This sounds absolutely terrifying to me and my worst nightmare come true, but apparently this is something Cody associates as being good.  I don't even want to know.

Milk, it does a body good.

What do you think was one of the weirdest things in Star Wars: A New Hope?  The aliens?  The space ships? Blasters? Lightsabers and the force?  Nope, it's none of things, it's that blue milk.

The first time you saw that weird blue milk Aunt Beru was making everyone drink you were all like "Whaaaaat??"  It's weird, it's crazy, it's blue milk, and now it can be yours!

I was checking out good old starwars.com and was in the "Activities" area where they have crafts and cooking.  Nothing is cooler than Star Wars themed cooking and nothing is easier than making blue milk.

Those ingredients are pretty basic, I probably don't have to download the activity, it is only two stars on the difficult rating after all.  Let's see how you assemble this drink.

I could do that OR I could just do it my way.

Step 1: Star with a glass of milk.  Duh.  Make damn sure it's a Star Wars glass too!

Step 2: Forget unsweetened blue drink mix and the sugar.  Just buy a bottle of liquid drink mix and make sure it's blue.  To save some coin buy it when it's on sale!  Luckily, it was on sale today when I went shopping.

Step 3: Squirt some in and then stir.  Add more to get the desired colour or flavour you want.

Step 4: You are done!  I can't believe this rates a 2 out of 4 on the difficulty scale.

Don't be so appalled at adding fruity drink mixes to milk because the result is surprisingly good.  I may be onto something here.  They already make chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and other varities of milk, so why not berry blast or mango passion fruit?   Give it a try, I dare you.

May the force blue milk be with you.  It's a great way to start off your space day.

Recommendations

I'm just wondering if anyone out there has picked up any new albums lately?  Preferably good ones!  About a month ago I picked up a copy of Exclaim and while I was looking it through it I didn't know any of the bands in it except for a couple,  I am so out of touch with "the scene" it's sad.  I've never been cool, but now I just old and uncool.  I don't know what new stuff to buy anymore.

Most of the music I've been buying has been used stuff because it doesn't seem like anything good is coming out.  I usually end up buying used CDs from Melodyia because they are usually only $2 or $3.  You can get all sorts of stuff and I'm almost embarrassed to admit I bought a used copy of "Never Mind the Bullocks, Here's the Sex Pistols" there.  That's right, I never had a copy!  Here are some of my more recent finds.

I never had this one either!  I was driving around listening to it in my car when I realized it's censored, the swearing is removed.  Where they all like that?  Was there an explicit version?  Cam, did you have this?

I got this EP of singles and remixes and one of the remixes was by Adrock.

The Creepshow is a Canadian "pyschobilly" band and if you can't tell this CD is autographed by Sarah Sin, their former lead singer.

Maxim's solo album after leaving the Prodigy.  It was a good move on his part to go back to the Prodigy.

Autographed Andrew W.K. 7" single for Party Hard.  I do that everyday!  Party hard that is.

I regretted buying this 7" the second I walked out of the store.  At least I can always get a good laugh when I look these goofballs on the cover.

Yeah, boyyeee!!

Yep, still regretting it.