Saturday, March 26, 2016


If you are looking at the post title and wondering if this post is about Donald Trump's presidential platform, then you're wrong.  It's the title of a movie I watched yesterday and it's not a documentary about corporate America or environmental destruction.  It's a skateboard movie!

I got this used DVD for $3 and couldn't say no to Tony Hawk, Erik Estrada and Ming Tran with a big explosion behind them.  Other than those three I'm not at all familiar with any of the cast of this movie from 2001.  It's presented by Hook-Ups, a skate company, which I had seen ads for in the magazine Giant Robot back in the day.  The ads always had Ming Tran dressed in a school girl sailor suit kicking some dude in the head.  Turns out that dude is Jeremy Klein, owner of Hook-Ups and one of the stars of the movie.

For a skateboard there is surprisingly little skateboard action.  The movie runs about 48 minutes long and maybe fifteen minutes of that is skateboarding.  There is an extremely loose story that has Jeremy Klein and Heath Kirchart going around in an extremely beat up van doing dumb stuff while being chased by a cop played by Erik Estrada.  Also, throw in a couple unrelated skits that has Jeremy Klein getting his ass kicked by Ming Tran and then he visits a skate park as his Gayblader character.

Here Jeremy and Heath drive through van through a Christmas tree lot.

After that they drive the van through an outdoor taco stand.

How can you replace the engine twice, but never have changed the oil???

The van gets pretty destroyed and is constantly changing appearance as the movie goes on.  One bit has them driving van over shrubs and small trees out in the California back roads.  Of course they get stuck and hung up a couple times and stopped dead once when they try to run over a larger tree.

Later on in the movie they get into a car chase with Erik Estrada and as they drive down the roads the van and the cop car are smashing into each and trying to take each other out.  Near the end of the chase the cop car is running on the rim on the of the rear wheels and there are sparks flying, it's ridiculous.  Heath Kirchart was the stunt driver for cop car and apparently it didn't even have a seat belt in it.  Safety first!

Tony Hawk shows up as a pizza delivery guy which no doubt is a homage to his character from Gleaming the Cube.  They show his name tag, but the they pixelate the Pizza Hut logo, but you can still tell what it is.  They must have made Tony use his own car because he's driving a Lexus.  I should switch jobs if pizza delivery guys can afford to drive a Lexus.

The movie is pretty dumb, yet some how entertaining.  It's mostly Jeremy Klein and Heath Kirchart doing stupid stuff with brief flashes of skateboarding.  At the end the two of them come across Erik Estrada's cop car, so they start smashing it with with sledgehammer and pickaxe as well as setting fire to parts of it with gasoline and lighter fluid.  Erik Estrada shows up and and they take off and he chases after them in his car which amazingly still runs.  They drive their van into a parkade only to have it get stuck because it's too tall.  The jump out and run up to the top level with Erik still chasing them.  Erik's car loses control and goes off the roof, fall to the ground and explodes.  They high five.  The End.

Still better than anything Nicolas Cage has been in recently, but if I want to see some skateboarding I'll watch my copy of Public Domain.

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