Monday, July 28, 2014


I'll be gone for nine days and I'm not taking my laptop, so that means nine day of no blog posts.  You're welcome!  I have the Blogger app on my phone, but doing posts with it is too much of a pain in the ass.  I don't want to have to type an entire entry with that little virtual keyboard.  Don't worry though, I won't leave you hanging.

I got the Instagram app on my phone, so I can at least share pictures.  If you have the app you can search for me under my user name, keefguy.  I'm following Mike on there and by the looks of it he put up one picture three years ago.  You don't need the app to view the pictures, you can also view my Instagram page online.  It will show all my pictures and then if you click on individual pictures it will also show accompanying text and any comments.

I used it for the first time today, so I only have two pictures to test it out.   The first pic I took with my phone and then posted it through Instagram and the second I tried taking the pic with Instagram and it royally failed.  When I took the picture with the Instagram app once I posted the picture there wasn't my pic, just a black box.  I had to go back and retake the picture with my phone camera app and then post through my gallery in the app.  I also don't like how you have to crop your picture to a square format.  Lame, but I'll do my best to make it work.

See ya later!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

"If it's one thing ghosts can't resist, it's porn."

I said that I was going to write more about my trip, but something much more important came up that I have to tell you!  Cody looked in his camcorder bag and found a third tape with a bunch of stuff on it.

The early stuff is bunch of random stuff that makes absolutely no sense at all.  I think it started by Cody and I filming some scenes off the top of our heads.  Then later we'd film more, but try to make it connect to what we already filmed.  In the end it's all pretty weird and not very good, although there are few funny parts.  In one section Cody dies and comes back as a ghost, so I use porn to lure him out.  Later on Cody is Arnold Schwarzenegger and I'm Bruce Willis and we're fighting for some reason.

After that there is some weird thing that has Cody, Lisa and I in it.  I'm not sure the plot, but Cody takes a dump, and at the end Lisa "helps" him by shooting him in the head.  The End.  Typical Crapola stuff, it did have a few funny scenes.   After that is another short in which I play a commando being menaced by a Satanic bedsheet.   Yes, that is the plot.

After that is the classic American Beercan Hunt video which is a parody of hunting shows.  In it Cody, Willie and I are rednecks on the hunt for beer cans.  This segment is actually pretty long and surprisingly funny.  All we had was an idea and just went in the woods and made everything up on the spot.  It turned out pretty good.  I die at the end.

Next one is super secret, so I won't tell you!  It has an absolutely hilarious scene in it.  The thing is I don't recall filming it at all!  Cody wanted to make a gif as a teaser, but I'm like no way!   I don't want to give anything away until the final version is up on YouTube for the world to see.  It's totally worth waiting for.

Finally, there is another entry for the Big Rock contest that we filmed, but never submitted.  I think it ran it too long, so we didn't use it.  We basically adapted our American Beercan Hunt premise to a Canadian version where Cody and Willie hunt the elusive Big Rock.

This tape held some hidden treasures,  I can't believe we filmed so much stuff.  Most of it is shot on the Crapola Studios backlot aka Cody's backyard.  It usually doesn't make sense, it usually isn't very good, but it was fun to make and to go back and watch now.

Saturday, July 26, 2014


I'm going on vacation pretty much Monday after I'm done work.  Unfortunately, I'm not going back to Cranbrook.  My mom has been asking me to go on vacation with her for like years and I keep saying no.  Mostly because I'm too lazy to go anywhere and also because I'm too lazy to renew my passport.  I finally caved in when she asked me to go on a trip to the east coast because I can go and not have a passport because it's in Canada.  I'll be going with my mom and Logan to Halifax, Moncton and Charlottletown.  My mom has cousins over there, so I'll get to meet them as well as have a place to stay for a few night because we're freeloaders.

Seeing as how I don't travel because I hate people and hate going outside I had to go out get some luggage tags.  I only looked at Target and their selection sucked.  For some reason all their luggage tags were pink, purple, animal print or in the shape of a school bus.  Not cool.  I went to Dollarama because I knew they'd save me and they didn't let me down.

I bought a pack of DIY self laminating bag tags.

Just write your info on the card and put in the pouch and remove the sheet to stick it down.  Just a plain white card with your info is pretty boring.  I think I have a way to personalize this luggage tag to make it a little cooler and lot more distinguishable.

A quick trip to the thrift store on my way home to pick up some materials.

It's super easy!  Just find a picture you like, any picture, and use the info card to trace around to get the right size.  Cut it out with some scissors, then glue it to the back of the info card.  Now just follow the instructions to "laminate" your luggage tag.

It's incredibly easy as I made these two tags in about a minute.

I'll be damned, it worked!

I had also bought this Canada luggage tag as a back up just in case my luggage tag hack didn't work.  I still ended up using the strap off it because the ties that come with the self laminating tags are garbage.  The Superman tag will go on my carry on.  I wanted to make more tags, but I don't have any more bags to put them on!

More on the trip tomorrow and let's hope these luggage tags don't actually have to be used.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Dear China, you owe me $4.00. Yours truly, Keith.

I briefly tried out my fancy Chinese iPhone wide angle lens with less that spectacular results.  There isn't much to take pictures of around our place, so I apologize for the bland scenery.

This one is without the lens.

And now one with the lens.  Kind of lame especially since I didn't even have it centred on the lens.

One without the lens.

And one with the lens.  This one looks a little better and I had lens centered a little better.  Still overall it's pretty disappointing.  I think you can download free apps that can produce the exact same effect, only better.

If you screw off the wide angle lens there is a macro lens under it.  I can't get it to work as it is never in focus, it's just a blurry mess even when I switch to the macro setting on my phone.

So once again I'm disappointed by another cheap piece of Chinese crap.  Then again the box did say it was for iPhone and I tried using it on my Samsung phone, so maybe that's why it didn't work.  That's exactly why it didn't work!

A while back I ran a contest that Cara won and I promised an awesome prize that I have yet to deliver on.  I'm pretty sure you can see where this is going by now.  Congratulations Cara on winning an awesome wide angle lens for your iPhone!  I hope you have more luck with it than I did.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Lucky No. 5

My attention span is pretty short, so I'm to let you all know I haven't forgotten about the photo app series.  Well, this next entry isn't an actual app, it is an attachment for my cellphone camera.

It's a wide angle lens that slips on your phone.  It's supposed to be for iPhones, but it works on my phone as well.  I have to take my cover off for the lens to slip on, but it's not a big deal.  I'll just have to try my best and not to drop it.   As of now I don't have any pictures taken with it, so you'll have to check back tomorrow and see if it actually worked!  It was $4 and came from China, so why wouldn't it!

Sunday, July 20, 2014


I mentioned Cody was working on the next Crapola Pictures film and teased a picture of Cam from Son a Gun.  When Cody transferred it, the audio was out of sync, so it was too much of a pain to work on.  He's going to try and transfer it again later.  Anyway, he moved on to Steele O'Neil Zombie Buster because the audio was fine on it.  Cody really worked his magic on it, it's amazing what some good edits and sound effects will do.  Enjoy!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014


Remember way back when Cody and I would go to weird little burger places and I would write about it?  Well back when we were doing that we ate at a burger place in the Westbrook Mall food court which is a "mall" near our place.  It's not much of mall, I would even say the Tamarack Mall is better than the Westbrook Mall, although Westbrook does have an actually foot court.

Anyway, we ate there a  long time ago at a burger place called Extreme Burger.  I don't remember much about the first time we ate there, but it couldn't have made much of an impression on me as I never went back.  I was walking through the mall last week and I noticed Extreme Burger was gone and replaced by a new burger joint called Dragon's Lair Burger Co.  The funny part is that the sign for Extreme Burger is gone, but you can still make out the letters above the stall.  Dragon's Lair sign is actually their menu that is on a giant chalk board on the wall.  If you were a jerk you could lean on it and erase the sign.

Long story short we went to Dragon's Liar and as Cody says, it's not bad.  It's not great, but it's not bad.  At least they give you the option of what you want on your burger ala Subway in terms of toppings and sauces.  They fries were pretty basic, but they were good.  Better than those tiny little fries you get at Smash Burger.  In addition to burgers they also do french onion soup, beef chili bowls and poutine.  They have several different types of poutine including a dill pickle poutine.  And face it that really just sounds disgusting.

On the way back home we stopped at the thrift store because it was toonie Tuesday where all DVDs are $2.00 each.  I got The Incredible Hulk blu-ray which isn't a DVD, but it was still $1 off the regular $4 price, so not a bad deal.

Hulk smash high prices!!

And also this!

In the book section I found another Happy Day Book and unfortunately it wasn't Happy Time with the Lollipop Dragon or God Made Kittens.  Since I found one, that meant there had to more, so Cody and I each flipped through a couple boxes of kids books hoping to find more.  But we quickly grew tired and gave up.  If we had eaten a more nutritious lunch I'm sure we would've had the energy to look through all those boxes of books.  In the end I didn't even buy the book because it was too beat up and the pages looked water damaged.  But I know you guys are keeping your eyes open right?  How else am I going to learn how God gives up peanut butter?

Sunday, July 13, 2014

From the vaults

Since the finally completed Badge of Betrayal trailer was such a hit despite receiving only one thumbs up/like on YouTube(from me!), work has begun on other lost Crapola treasures!  Today Cody transferred more files from tape to digital and we watched them all on the glorious big screen.  You already have seen Badge of Betrayal, but there is also Son of a Gun, Untitled, something we filmed with Cody's niece, the Big Rock commercials(there are two of them) and finally Steele O'Neil Zombie Buster!

It's going to be a lot of work getting these films ship shape, especially since the audio is out of sync.  I have high hopes for Son of Gun and Steele O'Neil, so I can't wait to see them completed.  The thing is I totally forgot we had that much footage of Steele O'Neil, it's a complete movie!   With titles even!

Now I want to get my tapes because we're wondering what the hell is on them.  There should be Reefer Madness 2, Psycho Killer Hermit Guy, Marionette Massacre, possibly The Worst Movie Ever Made and I'm hoping for some skiing and mountain biking stuff.   Remember filming any mountain biking Cam or Mike?  Maybe some random crap too.

Here is a picture Cody made from what he's currently working on.  Let's the hope the entire movie is as good as this gif.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Hey Ho, Let's Go

I just read this morning that the last original member of The Ramones, Tommy Ramone has passed away at 65.  Even though he left the band in the 1979 he still worked with them producing albums and was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fall with the band in 2002.

Put on your leather jacket, watch Rock and Roll High School, listen to your Ramones albums and pogo around!

Thursday, July 10, 2014


Good news Crapola Pictures aficionados, but the official trailer for Badge of Betrayal is finally here!  It was originally only planned as a trailer and I have no idea what the original inspiration for it was.  I think we just bought some cheesy jackets at the thrift store and decided we should film some "cop" stuff.  Again, it was only a trailer because we didn't have a script and any idea what we were doing.  We just filmed a bunch of unrelated scenes that we'd edit together into the trailer.  It just took 17 years to get that done.  Now enjoy it!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The sun is too bright. I must go back inside.

I went outside today!  The sun was bright and it was hot.  I parked up on the hill up Centre Street and walked down into Chinatown and came back with a few movies.

I took a few pictures to try and liven this post up a little bit.  It didn't really work.

I got these three bootlegs for $12.

And I also got this for $12.  They have bootleg Blu-rays down there and while some are Chinese movies most of them are Hollywood.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, but they playing with fire selling bootlegs of Hollywood movies.  They also had a bin of bootleg DVDs including X-Men: Days of Future Past and Mr. Peabody and Sherman, both of which aren't even out on DVD here yet because they're still in theatres.

I bought the Blu-ray just because I wanted to see what the quality was like and it's pretty much a rip of a normal Blu-ray.  Once you put it in a screen comes that says "PLAY/some Chinese gibberish" and "CONTINUE/More Chinese gibberish".  Click "PLAY" and the movie plays, but select "CONTINUE" and it goes to main menu with chapter select, set up and special features.  I didn't watch the entire movie, but I watched a bit of it and you can't tell the difference from a legit Blu-ray.   But I will forever more pay a few dollars more and get the legitimate version because buying bootleg movies is wrong.

Monday, July 7, 2014


I was at 7-11 the other day and was perusing their selection of tasty gummy treats when I saw a new gummy I've never seen before, a beaver.  You can't tell by the picture it's one of the larger 25 cent gummies.  It looked and smelled like a cola bottle, but I secretly hoped it would taste like maple syrup.  Unfortunately, I was right about it tasting like a cola bottle because that's what it is, just in the shape of a beaver.  I bet it's a Canadian exclusive gummy.  I wonder if we're also going to get a Dino-sour moose?  I'd be down for that.

Sunday, July 6, 2014


We still have last year's Chuck Norris calendar hanging on our wall because you don't just take a Chuck Norris calendar down.  It's an unwritten rule and actually a legitimate law in Texas.  There have a been a few times this year I've looked at it to check a date and then realized it's still December 2013.  But no more!

Since the year is half over they decided to give out all the left over calendars out at work for free.  I can't believe we still had any, I thought they would've got trashed back in April.  They had them at the customer service desk, so Cody got first pick.  He grabbed two calendars, but then forgot to take them home with him, so he had to text me and I picked up and brought the home with me.



Since we have a replacement calendar Texas law states that we can remove the old Chuck Norris calendar as long as we replace it with a current Chuck Norris calendar, so we are good to go.  It's nice to have a calendar up, but did you guys know it's July?!

We just re-watched a couple of Chuck classics last week too, Invasion USA and Delta Force 2.

Friday, July 4, 2014

You've been warned!

Last weekend Cody went back to Moyie and when he came back on Canada Day he brought back his old school camcorder and all the old tapes.

Tapes full of old stuff like Son of a Gun, Untitled, Badge of Betrayal, the original Steele O'Neil, and all kinds of other crap.

Here is Cody screening footage on our disaster of a kitchen table.  Cody plans to transfer it to his computer in order to do proper editing, music and sound effects.  He also wants to just upload the untouched raw footage because it's so damn stupid.  Apparently, there is like five minutes of footage of Cody and I posing and pointing our guns at the camera trying to get some "cool, badass" shots for Badge of Betrayal.  Words can't really describe it.

All this footage should keep Cody busy for a while which is good thing.  Eventually, when I make my way back to Cranbrook I want to dig up my old tapes.  I can't remember everything that is on them, but there should be Reefer Madness 2, maybe some mountain biking/skiing, Marionette Massacre, Pyscho Killer Hermit Guy and who knows what else.  Maybe if I ever find my tapes and if Cody edits it and fixes Psycho Killer Hermit Guy up into something watchable he can use the PKHG theme song for it.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

On Canada Day I did what any good patriotic Canadian would do...I "cleaned" my room.  When I say "cleaned" I just mean I got rid of a few things and just rearranged all the left over crap into neater stacks/piles of stuff.  I guess it's good I did "clean" because I dug up some stuff I forgot about.

I bought these Makit & Bakit kits at Michael's back in January when all Christmas-y stuff was reduced to sell.  I got them for a buck each.  There are the current Makit & Bakit versions and while they did have other kits, they were full price.  Somebody please remind me to make them come this December!

More Christmas crap in the shape of Darth Vader "holiday" lights.  I bought these at HMV before Christmas, but they were on sale.  I was going to put them up (somewhere) and take a picture, so I'd have a blog post.  I never got around to it.  Sure sounds like me!

Speaking of not getting around to things...  I bought some art stuff like this grid paper, ruler and black pens back when I grand plans of resurrecting "Calculus Cut-Ups".  It wasn't going to be a direct sequel, prequel or reboot just comics in that style (ie. crappy) that would've taken place around the same time(the 90's baby).  At the time I had at least three strips in my head, but today I can only remember one of them.

I bought these last fall from the Cellar in Cranbrook.  They are some soccer cards, stickers and junk from a British magazine.

And finally I found the box for my flash camcorder.  I got it for my birthday YEARS ago and never actually used it.  I took the camera out to play around with it and stashed the box in the back of  this drawer.  Eventually the battery died on the camera and I could never find the cables to recharge it.  I've wanted to use it a few times, but couldn't find the box.  I knew I had the box somewhere, but I could never find it when I needed it.  Fun fact, the camera is in the drawer directly below this one.  Yes, I am that stupid. 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

(Pay)Phoning it in

The other day I did a post and I mentioned that I saw a guy using a pay phone.  It was such a hit that even Cam commented on it.  So to follow up on that I give the phone booth in all it's glory.

Okay, not the best angle, but there you go.  It's sitting right under the old dilapidated Tri-Glen Centre sign and beside a postal drop box.  Sorry Cam, but there is not a phone book inside it.  I guess you could look up the number you needed using Google on your cell phone.  It might have smelled like pee, but I wasn't going to check.

The phone booth has always been there, but I've never paid much attention to it.  There is a four way stop in front of the this sad little strip mall place and it's one of the main ways to get to our place, so I'm always going past it.  I just ignore it, but once in a while I'll actually "see" the phone booth and be like, "Hey, a pay phone!".

The entire Tri-Glen Centre which consists of a (starting from the left and going right) a convenience store, dog grooming place, nail place, Howie's Pizza, alterations store, a dry cleaners and a Chinese take out called Hot Wok Cafe.  I go to the convenience store sometimes and I've grabbed a slice of pizza at Howie's before.  It is totally greasy, but strangely good.  I feel like a nap after I've eaten it.